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Post by olhillbilly on Feb 1, 2007 5:06:26 GMT -6
You Might Be a Bad Cook If...
Your microwave display reads "TILT!"
You know dinner is ready when the smoke alarm goes off.
Your dog goes to the neighbors' to eat.
Leftover crumbs make a great replacement for kitty litter.
Your kids know what exactly peas porridge in a crock pot nine days old tastes like. /Your family automatically heads for the dinner table every time they hear a fire truck siren.
Your family seems really interested in going to that restaurant that always has trouble passing the health inspection.
If the EPA requires that all your garbage cans be marked with large bright red "biohazard" symbols.
When you BBQ two of your kids hold water guns and the third has the phone with 911 on speed-dial.
Pest control companies keep pestering you, wanting to buy and patent your recipe for candy Christmas cookies.
The smoke alarm beeps if you even walk near the stove.
Your family buys Rolaids, Pepto Bismal, and Tums in bulk.
Your homemade bread loaf can be used as a door stop.
The last time you tried to make toast the kitchen caught on fire.
Your apple pie bubbled over and ate the enamel off the bottom of the oven.
You make tuna noodle broccoli surprise for your roommate and the surprise is that it glows in the dark!
Your tuna noodle broccoli surprise melts plastic and silverware.
You used three boxes of scouring pads, a bottle of Drano and a crowbar, but that macaroni and cheese still won't let go of the pan!
You look in a cookbook to find out how to boil water.
You call your mother to ask how long to boil cabbage to make cole slaw.
If anyone has ever broken a tooth while eating your homemade yogurt.
The family pets are no where to be found during dinner.
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Post by SpyderLady on Feb 1, 2007 18:49:45 GMT -6
 OK I ain't a very good cook, but not that bad.
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Post by GRANDMA COW on Feb 2, 2007 0:50:10 GMT -6
You used three boxes of scouring pads, a bottle of Drano and a crowbar, but that macaroni and cheese still won't let go of the pan! Hey Cc does this one bring back any meromies Like the pan that is out back from the last time you TRYED to make hambuger helper  ? even Cc got beat out of this next one You look in a cookbook to find out how to boil water. Son wanted boiled eggs the other nite and asked meif I would boil them for him and I asked him what about Jess and he said that she didnt know how I thought that he was joking BUT OH NO I found out real quick HE WAS NOT LYING ONE BIT she is a yr older than Cc by the way EVEN Cc KNOWS HOW TO BOIL WATER and put a egg in it |
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Post by SpyderLady on Feb 2, 2007 1:45:31 GMT -6
 Back when I was married my sister in law called me and asked how long to boil eggs. She said, soooo, an hr is a bit too long, huh? lmao!
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Post by GRANDMA COW on Feb 2, 2007 2:44:16 GMT -6
OH MY GAWD YOU THINK MAYBE TADPOLES GIRLFRIEND MIGHT BE HER DAUGHTER |
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Lina Smiles
New Member
.....from ear-to-ear !!!!!
Posts: 39
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Post by Lina Smiles on May 23, 2007 7:01:44 GMT -6
...even the ants don't come to your picnic!!!
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Post by califgirl on May 23, 2007 15:16:45 GMT -6
Now that is a bad cook, when the pets are know where to be found.
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Post by Owl on May 24, 2007 16:53:28 GMT -6
YOU MIGHT BE A BAD COOK IF YOU CATCH A MARSHMELLOW ON FIRE IN THE MICROWAVE TRYING TO MAKE SMORES----- CC DID THAT TOO! ROFLMAO!
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Post by shyangel on Jun 16, 2007 22:00:16 GMT -6
LOL I love it! I read this to my BF & he got a kick out of it too. (He can't cook  ) |
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Post by califgirl on Jun 16, 2007 22:06:05 GMT -6
;DKeep him out of the kitchen Shy. LOL
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Post by shyangel on Jun 16, 2007 22:27:07 GMT -6
LMAO Cali I read him what you wrote and he said that he agree's, he's scared he might burn the house down next time. LOL |
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Post by Owl on Jun 17, 2007 3:07:29 GMT -6
YOU MIGHT BE A BAD COOK IF YOU MAKE PAN GRAVY WITH " SWEETENED CONDENSED MILK" WHEN I WAS WORKING HUBBY DID THAT, HE THOUGHT IT WAS EVAPORATED MILK, NEEDLESS TO SAY THE KIDS DID NOT EAT IT ( NEITHER DID HE) AND ANOTHER THING HE MADE THE KIDS WOULD NOT EAT WAS HIS CRUNCHY SPAGHETTI! HE WAS NOT TO PATIENT WHEN IT CAME TO COOKING AND RUSHED THINGS A BIT TO SAY THE LEAST. THE KIDS ALL LOOKED FORWARD TO MY DAYS OFF!
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Post by froggie on Jun 17, 2007 8:59:44 GMT -6
YES WE DID!! But we sure didnt say anything to him about it,because he wouldnt cook for 2-3 days. I guess it was better than nothing & now that I'm older I appreciate that he tried.
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Post by califgirl on Jun 18, 2007 10:13:26 GMT -6
Shy LOL, if you teach him to cook,start with cereal. Kidding. lol |
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Post by shyangel on Jun 18, 2007 11:37:26 GMT -6
Well I can give him a few credits, he can fry an egg and toast bread in the toaster oven. Hee Hee
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Post by califgirl on Jun 18, 2007 12:39:30 GMT -6
Shy, that is a start, keep an eye on all electrical appliances. LOL  |
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Lina Smiles
New Member
.....from ear-to-ear !!!!!
Posts: 39
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Post by Lina Smiles on Aug 11, 2007 21:15:56 GMT -6
I remember once I was making a pumpkin cream cheese roll and it called for confectioners sugar but I substituted regular sugar for it. Needless to say it came out all watery and the roll wouldn't get firm or even stay together. That was quite a mess!!
the filling was ooozing out all over! LMAO It was tasty tho'!
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Post by CuPcAkE on Aug 12, 2007 20:36:13 GMT -6
I admit my cooking habits are nearly obselete! I absolutely HATE to be in the kitchen it bores me and I would much rather starve than to take the time to cook anything! Not to mention, that I don't like to be around fire really so that counts out the stove and I am so clumsy that I am afraid to have anything to do with anything hot! Although I can make "shit dip" otherwise known as chili cheese dip and it is so very yummy! I can make Tatortot Casserole, homemade Mac 'n Cheese (but I can not make it from a box it is always extremely dry!) and I can make baked potatoes in the microwave (as long as I have a Wal-Mart bag to put them in). I could never live off of all of that, so I don't even try. I wait until mama cooks or I go to Owl's for dinner. It is so much easier and so much safer! I did indeed catch a marshmallow on fire in Owl's microwave and I couldn't do anything except laugh about it! I burnt the side of mom's BRAND NEW microwave with the George Foreman...I didn't deny it when it was found, but I sure did not tell about it before I was asked either! The hamburger helper was because it was taking WAY to long and I wanted it done, I had things to do so I turned the fire on high and then I went off doing something else and when I come back all the noodles were black! I picked the good ones out and there was a little bit left to eat...but it had to be cooked in the microwave because they were still crunchy! I was going to be a big help once when mom was sick so I went to make grilled cheese on the George Foreman and I forgot to put the buttered side on the outside and I burnt the sandwiches so bad that the dogs walked away...again I laughed hysterically because I knew that no one else could be that bad!! Another time I was trying to be a big help when my brother was sick and I went to make him a couple of corn dogs in the microwave and they come out as black as coal! I think it is a conspiracy and the microwave is against me!  --anyways-- who is coming over for dinner!? |
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Post by SpyderLady on Aug 13, 2007 7:05:13 GMT -6
Bad CC...read the directions on the box for suggested time for nukin. hahahahaha
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Post by mahjong on Aug 13, 2007 11:50:32 GMT -6
I took cooking classes before,not too bad of a cook.
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OK I ain't a very good cook, but not that bad.
Back when I was married my sister in law called me and asked how long to boil eggs. She said, soooo, an hr is a bit too long, huh? lmao!
)
